spudtater: (Default)
( Dec. 17th, 2009 10:19 am)
Hail?! What is this? We want snow, dammit!

Hehehe... said hail has set of at least four car alarms in the car park. Including Volvos. Surely the Swedes would be used to hail?

In other news, two more days of work at VisitScotland to go...

Edit: Woo! Snow!!!!1! It's not going to settle, but still...
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Just been reading through a selection of emails* that the helpdesk here have received from a variety of outraged Americans. And thus:

Dear Sirs,

Please allow us to express our regret at the news of your cancelled trip to Scotland. Our country will be much worse off without the presence of your illiterate, gun-waving, emotionally retarded selves, and the literally dozens of dollars that you would have no doubt contributed to our economy. We are particularly distraught at the thought of alienating those of you with such a strong Scottish heritage, and are sure that your imaginary Scottish royal ancestors would indeed be ashamed of this recent decision.

Our whisky industry will also suffer greatly from your withdrawn support -- indeed, your average accuracy in hitting the correct keys on your keyboard suggests you collectively consume a large amount of Johnnie Walker indeed, and I'm sure this fine company's profits will be deeply hurt once you switch back to that good ol' fashioned moonshine just like your paw used to make.

Please let it be known that if there were any way we could win back your custom, short of turning into a bunch of violent, xenophobic, right-wing cretins like yourselves, we would do so.

Yours faithfully,

Scotland

* Sorry, no can share. Don't want to risk getting colleagues in trouble.

EDIT: http://www.boycottscotland.co.uk/

spudtater: (Default)
( May. 20th, 2009 01:19 pm)
The receptionist at work greeted me by name today. When I looked surprised, she explained that she had memorised the names of every single employee. That's over 300 people. I told her that this was impressive, and she dismissively stated "it's my job. If you had this job you'd have done the same thing".

Err, no. I really wouldn't have. I couldn't have. I'd be surprised if I could recognise and name 300 friends and relatives, let alone co-workers. Currently, I could name maybe a dozen people at my work.

Now that I come to think of it, it's not the most impressive task I've seen. A headmaster of a school I attended could name every child in the school — that's several hundred children, with a new lot coming in every year, and everybody changing appearance constantly as they aged.

How is this possible?
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"Hey! The task scheduled for 1:30 AM every day hasn't produced any output for the 29th..."
"It hasn't generated any errors, either! It's as if it hasn't run at all..."
"...oh"
*Hippy music*

"The Oracle sees all, the Oracle knows all. The Shared Memory Realm holds all your answers, and only the Oracle has the key to that realm. Today the Oracle will choose just one lucky one amongst you and answer whatever question you may have for him. Come now, the Oracle awai..."

"Wait, what?"

ORA-01034: ORACLE not available
ORA-27101: shared memory realm does not exist


"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
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spudtater: (Default)
( Oct. 2nd, 2008 08:04 pm)
I dreamt last night that it had snowed outside. Woke up, and it hadn't...

However, we got a call from Cairngorm today telling us that they'd just had the first snow of the season, so if we were going to make improvements to the ski site, perhaps we should hurry up?
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I have been attempting to acheive what you would think would be a relatively simple bit of HTML: to display an iframe with vertical scrollbars only*. Unfortunately, with IE it's never that simple.

teh geekness )

* The page inside has, unfortunately, a whole lot of blank space to the right of the actual content.

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spudtater: (Default)
( Dec. 13th, 2007 08:29 am)
I is now teh permanently employed! Hurrahs!
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spudtater: (Default)
( Dec. 3rd, 2007 06:15 pm)
ASP is a dead language[1], as dead as dead can be. It killed the ancient Egyptians[2], and now it's killing me.

[1] Okay, well, framework, then.
[2] It killed Cleopatra[3], anyway.
[3] Reputedly.
spudtater: (Default)
( Jun. 11th, 2007 08:53 pm)
I was taken to see the server room today. Ooooooooh, shiny shiny shiny.

Huge aircon units and an all-pervading hum as well. Quite hypnotic if you (*yawn*) ask... zzzzz... KILL ALL HUMANS!
spudtater: (Default)
( May. 7th, 2007 08:48 pm)
I've been sent an "Application for Private Medical Scheme" form by my soon-to-be employer. However, there's one thing I can't make heads or tails of:

"Employee cover: No cost but Taxable Benefit cost is £395 per annum"

What's that when it's at home, then? Will they be taking money off me, or won't they?
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spudtater: (Default)
( May. 2nd, 2007 04:02 pm)
Following on from this:

You may now refer to me as [livejournal.com profile] spudtater, I.T. Professional™!

Yatta!
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spudtater: (Default)
( Apr. 26th, 2007 03:22 pm)
Went to an interview yesterday with VisitScotland.com in Livingston; they're looking for a graduate to work for them for 12 months, with a possibility of a permanent job at the end of it. It's Web/Java development, so right up my street.

Amazingly, I did well at the interview! I think it helped that there were only two people interviewing, and that they were friendly and informal. Amusingly, one of them had just come back from the dentist (gaining a numb mouth in the process), and so was in perhaps a more embarassing situation than I was.

I was in fact rather chatty, setting off on various asides, which helped stop me getting nervous, as well as breaking the ice a little. I also managed to show off my Conway's Game of Life simulation which I'd programmed on my mobile phone — I think that impressed them! I think I have a fairly good chance of being invited back for second interview.   8^)
spudtater: (Default)
( Mar. 1st, 2007 10:36 am)
I have an interview on Tuesday! For an Analyst/Programmer position at the Forestry Commission in Corstorphine. Looks to involve mostly Oracle databases and Java. And for a decent salary — yay salt!
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For the attention of those planning weddings. Errr... possibly just [livejournal.com profile] batswing, then...   8^]

Bride delays brain op for her wedding )

Work: as you may know, I work at a charity, on a voluntary basis. My boss has proposed employing me part-time, at minimum wage (£5.05/hr) for 16 hours a week. I would still get council tax and housing benefit, but no Jobseeker's allowance. So far so good; it works out to about £35 extra a week. However, my getting paid this is contingent on me getting in to work at 10:30 every morning, and on continuing to do my current voluntary job alongside this new one. In other words, it's a loophole to employ me for 32.5 hours a week, while only paying me for 16 of those hours — which works out to an effective wage of £2.49/hr.

One side of me feels a little insulted. My more logical side says that it's still more than zero pounds, which is what he pays me at the moment. My lazy side just doesn't want to get out of bed any earlier in the mornings. In conclusion... I'm a mutant three-sided freak.   8^)

At my work, I am currently working on the company website. The current website (http://www.scmonline.net) is getting very out-of-date, and besides, it looks cheesy and doesn't work in Mozilla. (Or, presumably, anything other than IE).

Before I started working for the company, they had an on-and-off-again volunteer working on building a new website. Fair enough, the content has been updated, and the new design looks more contemporary and works under other browsers. But in useability terms, it has to be the worst thing I've ever seen.

Bad website! No cookie! )
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spudtater: (Default)
( Mar. 2nd, 2006 07:50 pm)

Every other computer seemed to be broken today. They just wouldn't resolve domain names. Dunno if it was just the computer-gateway-machine acting up, but rather alarmingly, the administrator password had somehow changed on one of the afflicted machines. Plus it had two nasty-looking trojans on it. Buggerit.

In other (possibly related) news, had a rather silly thought while cleaning out the innards of old PCs:

"The worst things are your CPUs... you have very... dusty... CPUs."

And I have started creating a Dust Puppy. It is rather small at the moment:

Dust Puppy, in natural environment
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spudtater: (Default)
( Feb. 23rd, 2006 06:30 pm)
Have been having difficulties with customers taking liberties with their accounts and installing their own software. Not that I blame them; I tend to do the same thing whenever I can! But it makes life a hassle for me, and causes security problems for other users, so I'm trying to prevent them doing it.

First realisation was that Windows, by default, allows users full access to the c: drive of the computer. Even if they're "restricted users". This is... suboptimal. That was easy enough to change; just give users read-only rights to everything except their own documents folder (C:/Documents and Settings/<username>). So, had my first casualty of that change today. Got summoned to help a user "who's getting this odd error message for some reason". The error being that he couldn't install some random VOIP program which he wanted to use as a messenger. Was not quite sure how to explain to the guy that I could fix his problem, yes, but I didn't want to.   8^S

More woes. Avoid if you don't particularly want to learn about the inner workings of Windows. )

Edit: got it now! Control Panel > Administrative Tools > Local Security Policy > Security Settings > Software Restriction Policies > Additional Rules

Select Action > New Path Rule from the menu, then type in the desired path and choose "disallowed". Works like a charm, and all without needing to change any permissions. A more informative error message, too.
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spudtater: (Default)
( Jan. 11th, 2006 11:38 pm)
Another hectic day at work, involving three different people trying to get my help at the same time, followed by the entire internet going down. (Or the router, which is almost the same thing). After a frenzied phone call to Telewest, it all miraculously started working again. Typical.

Virus scans, football supporters & memory issues )

And that's quite enough of that. How are you today?
.

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