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For the attention of those planning weddings. Errr... possibly just ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
batswing, then... 8^]
Bride delays brain op for her wedding
BY MIKE TAIT
A woman has told how she delayed having brain surgery — so she could get married to the man of her dreams.
Primary school teacher Natalie Falconer, of Glenrothes, Fife, was diagnosed with a rare brain condition that left her paralysed down her right side.
The 25-year-old was due to have surgery in May last year but it would have meant missing her wedding with Steven, 24, which was set for July.
Natalie also feared the operation would have left her with ugly scars and not looking her best for the most important day of her life.
So she pleaded with the specialist to put back the operation until after her big day despide the increased risk involved. She was told she might only have a 50/50 chance of survival.
Natalie said: 'All I wanted to do was get married to the man I love. I didn't care if I died, so long as I died married.'
The operation was put off until August 2005. Everything went well and she is now pregnant with her first child.
She added: 'Looking back now, I can't believe what a rollercoaster day of emotion we have been on over the past 12 months. To say the wedding day was emotional is an understatement. But it really was the wedding of our dreams.'
— Metro, 06/06/06
Okay. Priorities here: a) "Our Special Day™" b) Paralysis, brain damage, death. Balance appropriately. 8^P
Work: as you may know, I work at a charity, on a voluntary basis. My boss has proposed employing me part-time, at minimum wage (£5.05/hr) for 16 hours a week. I would still get council tax and housing benefit, but no Jobseeker's allowance. So far so good; it works out to about £35 extra a week. However, my getting paid this is contingent on me getting in to work at 10:30 every morning, and on continuing to do my current voluntary job alongside this new one. In other words, it's a loophole to employ me for 32.5 hours a week, while only paying me for 16 of those hours — which works out to an effective wage of £2.49/hr.
One side of me feels a little insulted. My more logical side says that it's still more than zero pounds, which is what he pays me at the moment. My lazy side just doesn't want to get out of bed any earlier in the mornings. In conclusion... I'm a mutant three-sided freak. 8^)
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'All I wanted to do was get married to the man I love. I didn't care if I died, so long as I died married.'
Personally I actually, y'know, LOVE the man I'm marrying so I kind of don't want to make him a widower before my time!
Wow, just can't believe some people!
(There are others planning weddings now btw, kisin for instance!)
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'Natalied also feared the operation would have left her with ugly scars and not looking her best for the most important day of her life.'
To which I have two things to say:
1) Looking good is a nice thing, but so's being alive to appreciate it.
2) I find it tragic that the "most important" day of anybody's life would be the one that entirely revolves around one's spiritual joining to another person. Codependent much?
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*Embarassed* 8^]
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Does that exra £35 take into account the amount they would reduce the Council Tax & Housing benefit by?
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After all he is getting you for free at the moment and not a lot of companys get that.
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Yep, you are a mutant three-sided freak but you're a lovely one. Will you be at the quiz tonight?
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First of all, I don't think being in any way rude about it is a good idea at all (although I don't suspect you were about to be), and I don't think you should feel insulted by it. You are working in a voluntary post to start with, even if it's in part motivated by the JobCentre's rules. He has a budget to meet, but he's found he has scope to make this offer. He couldn't know whether it would interest you or not, so he asked you. Seems fair enough, especially since you admit you can to some extent see a potential benefit. Leave it to the laziness and logic to sort it out (although I hasten to add that laziness can on occasion be a logical choice).
Potential benefits: Well, money if it's worth the extra effort to you. Looks better when you apply for jobs, and in interviews; you worked voluntarily there, and you were then employed.
You might be able to get some more out of this, though. First of all make clear this can't be any sort of long-term solution for you, and you'll need time off to attend job interviews and so on, because you will still be looking. Secondly, ask for training. Not the expensive sort, sending you off on courses and so on, they probably won't be able to afford that, but on the job stuff; if it's possible to broaden the type of work you do, pick up a few extra skills (or rather, pick up useful things to put on your applications and say in interviews) that could help you. Even general experience of office work and administration would tend to be looked on favourably; if you get an IT job, you won't necessarily be spared soul-crushing bureaucratic tedium either. The more you can get yourself involved in that way, the better really. And if you tell employers you asked for all this, you get to say you used ninja negotiation skillz to secure this (although I imagine they'd prefer you spelt it properly). It is something that, if you do it, may make your application stand out a bit more, which is what you want. Things like that can sometimes get you past an application sift before interview where you otherwise might not get past. Also, having that to talk about, and give as evidence of your commitment and enthusiasm (or rather evidence of simulacra thereof) can make you feel a bit more confident in interview.
Also: ask about holidays!
You should also bear in mind that eventually you might get caught up in New Deal type fripperies. Some of the stuff that involves may actually be helpful to you, but you could well end up doing 30 hours of voluntary work per week for 10 quid extra a week (or thereabouts) for six months as a result of that. You could ask the jobcentre about the timings involved and the details. Now I think on it, that might be what's informing the offer your boss has made.
A few problems, though:
You need to know exactly what the situation will be with benefits, tax and NI, etc and you need to talk to the jobcentre about that. They can't make you take this job, so it is safe. However, you need to clarify what the benefits situation is if you decide to quit the job; will it affect your benefits? The employment law aspects of this situation look deeply suspect, and you should probably also check that out with the jobcentre. You should probably say to your boss that you'll have to check it out with the jobcentre first (say it's just to confirm how it affects your situation), in case it is a bit iffy. If it is legally dubious, I wouldn't hold it against your boss, though, employment law is a pretty fraught subject. I wouldn't hold out much hope of being able to do anything worthwhile with unfair dismissal, though, as suggested elsewhere. Even if there is a case there, it's not clear it would be feasible or desirable to pursue it.
At the end of the day, when I was in that position, I'm not sure that I'd have taken that offer or not; laziness is not necessarily a bad basis for a decision here.
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I'm not entirely sure that `driving a hard bargain' is something one really wants cropping up on HR's radar....
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There are loads of things to consider, not all of which I am willing to go into on a public-viewable post.
I think I'll just see how things pan out for now.
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