Quick questions

[spudtater]

There's this guy I know who doesn't seem particularly bigoted, but can't stand to touch or to sit too close to gay (or bi) men. My questions are:

• Is this homophobia?
• Is it wrong?
• Am I wrong to dislike him for it?

Comments

[nickys.livejournal.com]

I think what he's feeling is fear, not hatred.

Having a feeling is not, in itself, morally wrong. If he allows that negative feeling to influence how he acts and his actions hurt people then that is wrong.

You're not wrong to dislike him for it (after all it's unfair that gay and bi people have to put up with this sort of stuff, whether its cause is hate or fear) but if you can manage to be tolerant and try to discuss things with him in a compassionate way there's a possibility that he might get over his fears and become a nicer person to be around.


Often the root of fear of homosexuality is uncertainty about ones own sexuality.

As I ranted on about recently, sex and sexuality are very powerful parts of the psychology. Sexual feelings can be frighteningly intense, people can fear being overwhelmed by their feelings and losing themselves.

[gominokouhai]

I know people who consider themselves tolerant, but still experience an emotion towards homosexuals that they can only describe as `ick'.

It's just a bit stupid. It's someone thinking he's tolerant because he's heard that tolerance is good without actually considering what tolerance entails.

It's also just ignorance---it's a fairly common reaction to have before one's actually met any gay people, and before one has had chance to realise that a description of one aspect of their character has no bearing on the fact that they are generally complete human beings in their own right.

For your questions:

1. Yes, but a sort of third-degree homophobia;
2. Yes;
3. Not necessarily, but I'm sure you could find better reasons if you tried.

[becksinthecity.livejournal.com]

yes
yes
no