The Scottish Diet

[spudtater]

The Scottish Diet is an ingenious nutritional system invented by the Scots to keep their pension funds in balance by reducing the number of people who make it beyond the age of 60. like many of the world's smartest inventions (most of them invented by the Scots), it is devilishly simple. It increases the premature death rate through a well-balanced diet:

The Scottish Diet
«Any and all thing you can eat
But this proportion always heed:
    A third from fat
    A third from sugar
    A third from alcohol
From time to time, you can eat a small amount of fruits, in the form of jams or preserves, or even better, distilled.»

— FXCuisine.com, "Deep-Fried Cheeseburger"

Browse through the other articles, as well — it's a pretty fun site.

Edit: it amuses me that the random advertising on the site quite frequently selects a British Heart Foundation advert for this page.